5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Girls should come with a carfax report
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
