He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
