Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
