dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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