Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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