you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
