Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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