Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
