I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
