oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
