I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
