I want to make a zoo with you.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
