I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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