new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
