so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize