i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
