You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
