If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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