you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
