oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
