his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
