You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
