i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
