Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
