would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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