last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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