just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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