he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
