just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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