Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
His nipple licking is glorious
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