She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
