Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
