dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
