Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if only i could text you this smell
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
