He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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