so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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