How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
