hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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