I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
