I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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