the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
