I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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