Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
