6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
