...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
