please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
