...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
