I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
