You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't deserve a penis
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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