Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
