I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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